Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Five Stages of Receiving Feedback



Stage 1: Excitement

An email pops up in my inbox and my heart starts beating faster. Be it from an crit partner, a beta reader or an agent, the very presence of an email in that inbox is enough to make me dance with impatience as I wait for it to load.


Stage 2: Dread

Wait. This is an email relating to my writing. What if it's bad news? What if the sender HATED my work? Maybe I shouldn't read it. At least not until I'm in a better mood. What if my fragile, artistic ego can't take the rejection?


Stage 3: Despair

It was worse than I thought. Compliment, compliment, compliment, criticism, compliment, compliment. My writing must be terrible! What was I thinking, sending this out into the world? I'm a hack! I should never write again!


Stage 4: Exuberance

I'm going to change EVERYTHING! Every word of every critique must be right! How could I have been so blind? Let's rename characters and change major plot points and cut entire scenes! No need to rework anything. Let's just start over!


Stage 5: Acceptance

Okay, I see what they were REALLY saying and I see why. Sure, this part is a little slow, but I can fix it. And while this particular writer didn't like this line, I do and I'm the writer. This is my baby and I can take in all this feedback, use the parts that resonate with me and confidently stick to my guns on the rest. I love my story. I love feedback. Let's do this again! Who else can I send it to?

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11 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 30, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    So true.

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  2. Emily R. KingAugust 30, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Wow... that struck close to home. I guess that means when I get my MS back from my critter I shouldn't freak. Somehow, I think I will anyway, but I wish I could skip to Stage 5!

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  3. Megan LallyAugust 30, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Ha! Hilarious, and so completely true!

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  4. Jenny KaczorowskiAugust 31, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    Wouldn't we all love to skip to Stage 5! I'm languishing at Stage 2 right now, afraid to even look at my latest feedback. I think I'll just start a new WIP!

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  5. Leigh AnnAugust 31, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Oh no! Don't be afraid (if you're talking about mine!) I did kind of slam you for one thing in particular, but it was all out of love. Everything else is just questions and nitpicks.

    (Also, if I had $1 for every time I thought "I am a hack....")

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  6. Jenny KaczorowskiAugust 31, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    Haha, Leigh Ann! You're fine! We all need to hear criticism! It's just a process :)

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  7. Jenny KaczorowskiAugust 31, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    And the questions are some times harder than the criticism!

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  8. Leigh AnnSeptember 1, 2011 at 1:56 AM

    Eeek. *Ducks head* I don't *try* to be a monster, I swear......

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  9. Megan LallySeptember 1, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    Hey Jenny, just wanted to let you know I gave you an award, go check it out in my latest post. :-)

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  10. LylaSeptember 2, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    Jenny, I can totally relate to these five stages. Since I always enjoy reading your posts, I've given you two blog awards here:
    http://lylawrites.blogspot.com/2011/09/blog-awards-galore.html

    Good luck on submissions!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jenny KaczorowskiSeptember 5, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    Thanks Megan & Lyla! I'm so new to this blog thing - I need to figure out how to pass the love along!

    ReplyDelete

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