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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Art of Letting Go

Cold Hearted by Healzo on deviantArt

I poured heart and soul into writing The Alterae, the manuscript I'm querying now. For the last three years, every song I heard, every place I visited, ever experience I had went through that filter. Those characters kept me up at night and prompted me to ignore living, breathing friends and family to bring their stories to life. In that time, I've written enough on that one book to fill two or three. I have bits and pieces of sequels. But every time I tried to write something new, it felt wrong.

For a long time, I thought it was because I'd used up all my energy and creativity on TA. I had good ideas (ideas that I think will grow with time), but nothing thrilled me. Everyone kept telling me to move on, write something new. First books never get published. But I couldn't. Writing felt like a chore - editing TA still felt new and exciting.

I learned so much through writing TA. I started writing it just to prove I could. My first draft was such a mess. Almost every major character or plot point has changed since I first typed it. My writing has gotten stronger, but I've also gotten better as a writer. There's a difference. I understand the value of beta readers and critique parters now. I have a better grasp on other books in my genre. I know more about how the publishing industry works (and doesn't work). I've learn to craft queries and pitches.

I've learn that sometimes it's okay to let go. And letting go isn't giving up.

I've been so afraid that if I loved another manuscript, I'd be giving up on Alex & Emma. I thought I'd let down everyone who read those early drafts. With a job and a home and a husband and a toddler, my time is really limited. I have find time to write and edit and critique and blog and query and research in the middle of managing everything else in my life. I didn't think I had time to love something else and still move forward with TA.

I LOVE the Alterae. I love these characters. There are scenes in my head for future books that are AWESOME and I want to write them.

And I will. But I'm also completely, totally, madly in love with a new work in progress. I started writing last Sunday night and I'm already over 10,000 words (TA is around 64,000 to give some perspective). I'm continuing to work on getting TA out there, submitting to contests, querying, etc, but in the mean time, I am loving writing something new.

While still a contemporary fantasy, this one is totally different from TA in tone. It's much lighter and the romance is stronger. It's also more epic - something I never thought I'd write again. I'm not writing it to prove anything or to fit any self-imposed expectations. I'm writing because I love it. Because words are pretty and I can paint pretty pictures with them. Because I can create characters that stick with me and make me want to follow their stories. Because I want to know what if?

I guess the point of all this is that I finally took the advice of EVERY OTHER WRITER and finally found something new to love. Because just waiting will never get me any closer to getting published. And I have stories to tell.

What about you? How to do know when to let projects rest? When do you let them go completely? How do you differentiate between giving up on a project and giving it space?

12 comments:

  1. Good for you, Jenny! You're not giving up on the project; you're giving it space, as you said. Keep moving forward!

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    1. Thanks, Linda! How are things going for you? Anything exciting happening?

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    2. Hi Jenny. Still querying, writing, and hoping for the best. :)

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    3. I'm hoping with you! It can be so tough to keep at it, but your perseverance will pay off I'm sure.

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  2. I pretty much ONLY give my projects space--I feel like I might think differently than a lot of other writers in that respect. I've never "given up" on a story, because although I'd like to be published, I'm not writing just to get published. I write because I am literally incapable of not writing. I never "trunk" a story and don't think about it again, I just don't work on it for a while.

    And if I have a story that may not be as great as I first thought it was, I figure out a way to make that story better. I figure, if I love an idea enough to write it, then I need to find a way to make it worth writing.

    And I don't know about you, but the "first book never gets published" thing...I think that's crap. Sure, it might not get published right when you write it. That doesn't mean you won't go back later and rewrite it to make it publishable.

    Anyway... congrats on moving forward! Good luck with the new story!

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    1. I never give up on things either - the second scene in TA is something I wrote almost ten years ago in a micro econ class. And you're right, I'm not writing to get published. I write because I love stories. Thanks for the encouragement!

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  3. I usually leave my first drafts for a month or two after I've finished them, then work on something else. I need to tackle rewrites with fresh eyes plus it gives me the time to work on a shiny new WIP. That way I can interchange the two, work on one while letting the other one rest.

    Last year I finally made peace with the fact that I had to let my first novel go. When I opened it for the first time after putting it away for a while, I almost died, it was that bad. For more than I year I contemplated trying to fix it, but I had to be honest with myself. It just didn't cut it. I'm putting it in a box and stashing it away today actually.

    Deciding between giving up and giving it time? I follow my gut.

    I'm wishing you all the luck with your story, I'm sure it's going to be awesome.

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    1. My first novel was an awful high fantasy novel I wrote years ago. Every so often I wonder if I should pull it out and see if it's salvageable, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that! Maybe someday...

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  4. I agree with Chessie, in some ways. I have traditionally "trunked" stories -- though I'm not sure if the word applies when I never really went beyond the 1st chapter and pages of notes for any of them. However, they're still in the back of my mind, marinating. I've cannibalized them for parts in my current WiP. There's always a way to come back and resuscitate an old story. But often times, it's necessary to let go and work on other projects in the meanwhile. Like love, if it's a gem, it'll fly back to you.

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    1. I have tons of bits and pieces stashed all over the place! I get ideas for first lines or scenes but don't have stories to back them up. So I jot them down and leave them for later. But yes, sometimes it's best to step away and find something new to work on. It just took me a while to realize that!

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  5. Oh, I do know what you mean!
    I started many wips and still can't get Destiny Gift out of my mind. (I'm not talking about the first two I ever wrote. The ideas are good, but the writing sucks lol) I even get bored about those other wips sometimes.
    I'm letting Destiny Gift alone right now. I'm having a few ideas to strengthen it, and hope to get struck by the inspiration lightening on another wip soon! I get tired of staring wips and not finishing them ;)
    Good luck with the new idea!!

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    1. I'm trying to find the will to keep querying TA while I work on this new project, but it's hard. After spending so long with it, I'm starting to lose faith in it and my excitement over the new one is actually making it harder today!

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